


Fickle and Bruised

by mistyvoid



Category: Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat
Genre: I could've done more but I hope it's okay like this, I liked the hot cocoa bits I put in there bcus I'm just like that, I tried doing angst and cuddles, I'm actually slightly scared that I wrote them ooc and ah I tried I hope you like it, M/M, slight mentions of other characters but I left it quite vague and didn't mention names
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-26
Updated: 2016-12-26
Packaged: 2018-09-12 11:27:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9069511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mistyvoid/pseuds/mistyvoid
Summary: Damen's kingdom is approaching towards the coldest winter yet. He provides everything he can towards the less-than-fortunate. That includes a stubborn, trembling Laurent who seems to keep losing everything.
Title from the song Oh, Universe by Gallant. 
This was a secret santa for saenda on tumblr! merry belated christmas wishes!





	

His kingdom is not magical. It’s not perfect, nor is it the worse shape it’s ever been in. Damen’s kingdom has been growing, and it still is. He’s still young, still a prince, but knows that this winter will be harsh. It’s not the first time he’s been able to make decisions for his kingdom, regarding the increasing seasonal changes. This year, however, he wanted to be stronger. He knew there were decisions that should’ve been made years ago, when the winters were the coldest, yet they were never made. 

Damen had heard multiple times by now that this year was going to be worse than many previous years, this year was the year to make a change. He’d already started with plans to make his kingdom safer, thicker, warmer. His peers, the ones more in charge than he was, had aided him and sent forward requests to have multiple extra shelters built. There had been many growing groups of people in his kingdom who couldn’t afford to take care of themselves in the winters, so he thought adding more was only a reasonable thing to do. 

He kept making plan after plan, brewing in his heated chamber, clambered with beers to ease his mind. Ambers of the fire crackled in the fireplace his father had set in his room many winters ago, his bed covered with many lavish furs. Damen didn’t think himself lavish, he felt spoiled. All of it felt grand, but not like himself. However much he did, he still felt like he wasn’t doing enough.

 

The shelters were built, but not as grand and thick as Damen had imagined them. Yet, when he saw them, he said nothing to his peers. He glared at the shelters, imagining how they could even fit all of kingdom’s less-wealthy in them. It irked on him a lot. They hadn’t been quite finished, or open to the public when he saw them, however.

The couple of weeks later, when they were to be opened, Damen made sure to be there. There were a surprising amount of the population that he recognized and knew from before. Spring flowers had faded, the golds and blues and vibrant colours that Damen recognized so easily around his kingdom were already fading. In front of him, the shelters felt bland and definitely not as lavish as the rest of his surroundings. 

Beside him, his peers seemed proud of him, but had an underlying sneer on their faces that Damen didn’t miss. He stared long, standing atop the balcony of his beloved castle, watching the crowds shuffling into these long, stocky structures. Many had blankets huddled around them, climbing close together to keep warmth around their bodies. Damen hugged his thick, winter cape around himself as he watched, yet he didn’t want to watch at the same time.

 

Before all of it was over, his peers and friends had receded into the building with… perhaps it was boredom, perhaps they thought there had been enough to see. As much as Damen wanted to leave, too, he wanted to watch his accomplishment and make sure that there was in fact, enough room. Three of them, out of four, were in view of the castle balcony, and Damen enjoyed that. Some of the others in the castle had thought that the shelters being close to the castle may have been a problem to be brought up later. Either with the fact that some might try to come and steal, or cheat, or scavenge, or just wander too close to the castle. Damen ensured them that their guards were enough, and were there for a reason, but he had never had any real worry about that before.

Just as he was about to turn away, a jolt of colour on the nearly-empty canvas of light-spotted snow below. Their blue and gold-fading clothing was enough to catch Damen’s eyes. Their head of thick, golden hair stuck out amongst the rest, too. This person was guiding two figures along into the shelter. He stuck by behind them, guiding them with outstretched arms. One of them appeared to be an older woman, though Damen couldn’t see all the details of their features or figures from his position. The other was taller than the woman and resembled the one trudging behind. These people he didn’t know, but now had an objective in mind to figure out who they were and help them if they needed.

 

Few days passed before Damen could go back to examining the shelters and see how they were going. His plans for other situations arose and had to be dealt with before any of the shelter arrangements. They were being dealt with by one of his closest friends, Nikandros, who Damen trusted fairly well with a matter like this. He was prince, however, and his peers had demanded that he didn’t spend all his attention on matters like shelters, and instead focus on his kingdom as a whole. 

On the balcony, now, Damen settled himself in a different thick winter cape to peer down on the setting before him. He’d been so stuck in these conference rooms and peering down at maps and angles of the castle and other royalty’s faces, that he’d nearly forgotten that it had snowed today. Now, as night spread over the kingdom like a soft lullaby, he watched a few shapes bringing supper to the figures bustling in and out of the shelters. There were children playing a game, being called back inside. Other than that, it seemed silent and empty. Damen hoped they were warm.

A curiosity trickled over him, as the stars became more visible. The snow was enticing, and he hadn’t felt like he’d walked in snow in a very long while. Sparkles of it brought him to stare at the new snow. Seconds later, he slipped back inside the castle and bustled into his own chambers to grab some warmer clothes and donned a cloak of blue. He didn’t think about how this would look of others saw him, he just walked. Chills immediately surrounded him and he shivered with pleasure at the first crunch of snow under his boot.

 

It reminded him of being a little boy. His first winters were so shiny and magical and… his eyes drooped as he wondered where time had gone to make him so stone-cold and oblivious to the magic of first-snow winters. In front of him, his breath was visible in a small cloud. He was approaching the closest shelter already. Damen was getting rather cold quite fast, too. He’d not been used to this type of weather in a long while. 

A shadow jolted in his peripheral for a split second, but that was enough for Damen to turn his attention to it. His hooded body quietly approached a jittering shadow that sat against the shelter. It had gotten very dark, and much colder now. Damen worried and crunched the snow under his boots as quietly as he could. The more he approached this figure, the more he recognized it as one of the boys with the older lady who were at the end of the queue into the shelters. His hair was so frosted and golden that it was unmistakable. 

The shape of this boy seemed to curl into himself bit by bit more as Damen approached and managed to crouch before him. Damen hear an audible gulp come from this boy. His breaths were shakes. There were no gloves on his red hands. Something big tugged inside Damen, making him want to put those hands in his own to warm them up. Instead, he tried to speak up, altering his voice in the slightest in case this boy had heard his voice somewhere. In the moment, he didn’t actually think about the fact that the boy may have recognized his face, but he was nowhere near reaching eye-contact.

“May I help you in some way?”

There was silence so deep that it was filled with puffs of cold air from both their mouths. Before Damen could try again, the boy’s hands shoveled themselves into the sleeves of his sweater. His teeth were chattering now. Damen did try again, though.

“I can bring you inside and make you hot cocoa. I’m sure that would help.”

“Nothing can help.”

His look was stern and cold. When Damen realized that it would be a lot tougher to talk to him than he imagined, he sat down. As he did so, the boy’s face lifted. His eyes were puffed, red. His whole face was rather red, really. From this bitter look, Damen saw that he was probably his own age. If there was any sign that the boy knew who he was, he didn’t show it in his facial features.

“May I at least know your name?"

“Laurent.”

Damen began to get colder and colder as he sat, but he mentally refused to move from his spot until he knew about Laurent. A couple fidgets later, Laurent had probably read his mind, because he puffed a breath out and began to talk with a rasp to his voice. As he talked, Damen wasn’t sure if it was a rasp from a cold or if he’d been crying so much that it obscured his voice like this.

“My- my mother died tonight. And my brother’s out there trying to figure out what to do with her. He was whisked away with authorities who tried to help. All of them told me to stay here. They said there was nothing for me to do and that I would only get in the way.”

“I’m… I’m sure I can help somehow.”

“Because you’re the prince.”

“Right… I…”

“I’m sure it’s not your business to think of a low-life like me, anyway, I shouldn’t of told you that.”

“It’s important to me, Laurent. I’ll see what I can do. In the meantime, you can try to warm up in the shelter. That offer for hot cocoa is still open, if you wish.”

A cold, stern gaze met his own deep, brown eyes. Damen had stood by now, offering one of his gloved hands down to Laurent.

“Don’t hand me your pity, prince. I’ll have none of it. Cocoa can’t heal wounds or break wars.”

Damen felt unsettled and pushed back.

“But it can keep you warm.”

He left his sentiment there when Laurent seemed to be having none of it. A sense of comfort got to him when he took a couple steps back from Laurent, and he saw him place two hands onto the ground as if he were to get up. Numb, Damen’s gloved hand was raised in a goodbye. Few more steps back into the snow made Damen sigh. 

One minute passed before he turned to look over his shoulder. Wide-eyed, Laurent was stood in the snow, his limbs gathered close. He made no move to acknowledge Damen walking away, but he stared in a much-less stern manner than before. In a moment of spontaneity, Damen held a hand up to his mouth to shout something back at the shelter.

“I’ll try my hardest to help your family!”

At this point, Damen was way too cold and tired to try and even think of disguising his voice. 

 

As the days passed, Damen kept an eye out for Laurent. He even went as far as to buy a tailored outfit to disguise himself from everyone else outside, to get a closer look at how the shelters were doing. More specifically, how the people in those shelters were doing. Snow helped camouflage his outfit to some extent, and from his perspective, Damen found that he was near-to-unrecognizable when outside. There had been a couple people who were curious by his clothes and hood. So much so that they approached him and had commented on how odd he was. When testing out wearing his hood down, another couple of people around had said how much he looked like the prince, but they passed right by him, never asking him any other questions. This had made Damen confident about his look now.

Another day at dusk, Damen slipped out of his castle in his new garments and sneaked towards one of the shelters. Bustles of people were huddled around some of the shelters, sharing stories and probably warm beverages. Nowhere was Laurent in sight. Damen hoped that he would be able to slip into the shelters without being noticed this time. With careful steps, Damen approached the small crowd and huddled himself in. Other definitely noticed. 

One woman with wind-chapped hands hovered over him with a beautifully creased smile. She handed him a cup of hot cocoa as soon as she noticed him shivering. Damen wasn’t sure if he was shivering for real or faking it. The cold was coming and going, his mind couldn’t figure out when it was here or not. Several sips of the hot cocoa made him feel at home, made him cozy and much better off. As he looked up from his cup, several eyes stared back at him in wonder. A sense of sudden attention gathered around him. His awkward smile and nod made them look away, but he definitely saw coy smiles on their lips.

A few sips of his drink afterwards, Damen tried to leave the small group and squish himself closer to the building. His awkward shuffle into the shelter got him in fairly easily. It was even more crowded in there than he had imagined; large and tall bodies gathered around each other for warmth. An atmosphere of overlapping voices weaved itself in Damen’s ears. He wasn’t used to this much of a bustle. Perhaps when he was a child, but as he grew up, Damen was shielded from crowds like these. With a rather big struggle, Damen found his way to the back of the shelter, where it was still crowded, but much less so. 

 

From here, he could spot some secluded individuals. Some were looking worse-for-wear. Their clothes were more or less bare, their faces and bare chapped and red. They were all chatting with those around them, however. Smiles were on their faces, regardless of their state. Damen could definitely hear angered voices and arguments over the crowds, but they weren’t all that prominent and threatening from where he was standing. 

He didn’t feel like he had the ‘upper ground’ in this environment, and it felt odd. Though, something about this felt homely and relaxing. He’d shuffled all the way to a corner, and as he turned to his right, he spotted Laurent. Or, what he could see of him, anyway. His figure was so draped in the shadows of others and his own large, blue cloak. There was a feeling of unsureness in Damen. Something in him didn’t want to approach him, but there was a sudden opening.

No one was talking to him. Laurent was alone for several moments, his stance more comfortable than the last huddled form Damen had last seen him in. There was still an attitude of quietness and reservedness about him. With one quick movement, Damen grabbed a handful of his rich, blue cloak and tugged as softly as he could. That tug was enough to get Laurent’s attention, because he whipped around to face Damen. His pupils were blown wide when he faced the disguised prince.

He was obviously recognizable to Laurent. Anger pursued that surprised expression. Laurent’s lips began to move, but Damen nearly didn’t hear the words that escaped his mouth movements. It became more apparent as the crowd parted around them with the scene Laurent was making. Fists were pushing Damen away, his brows furrowed like Damen had never seen before.

“Stop! Stop following me around like I’m a sad puppy. I said I didn’t need your pity, stop pushing it onto me! Get out of here, Pr-”

Before he could finish that word, Damen clamped his mouth with one hand, the other on that hair of blonde hair. It looked dull in the minimal light of the shelter. Others around them grumbled odd curiosities. Laurent fought back, but seemed to understand Damen’s ‘attack’. 

“Take it outside!”

Damen heard the deep voice from the outer edges of the crowd. He guided his hands off of Laurent’s head and followed neatly as Laurent stormed out of the shelter. Damen’s head ducked instinctively as various pairs of eyes settled onto him. The chilling cold outside got to him quickly, this time. He’d lost Laurent from his sight for a good minute after the haze of being in the lonesome cold bit at him.

In the corner of his eye, he saw Laurent again, hugging onto his cape. Something inside Damen stirred, seeing the boy look broken yet again. His hair had been ruffled, his cheeks starting to already get a deeper shade of red, his stance way more closed-off. Damen felt bad that all of this was caused by him at this moment. He’d wanted to move closer, to comfort him, but he knew that Laurent was not that type. Instead, he used his words.

“Laurent…”

A gaze that made him want to shut down his words entirely came across to him.

“Please, Laurent. I have an invitation. I want you to come to the castle. To the palace. Things aren’t much better in there, but I want to show you how we do work. I want to show you how much I can and can’t do. Hell, you could even help me. I’ve seen that you’re a smart boy and that you care so much more than you let on-”

Laurent didn’t let him finish his speech.

“Don’t call me a boy, Prince. Don’t talk to me. I’m not going anywhere. My brother could be coming back at any moment now. You’re no use to me, prince. Please stop your petty attempts at helping me. They're no use.”

Damen shook his head, slow. His gaze was still at the ground, kicking at snow that piled up to nearly his ankles. After a moment, he glanced back at Laurent, sighed, and tried to move closer to him.

“I didn’t mean to call you a boy. I just know that you have a lot more potential than you let on. And I don’t want the vengeance and revenge you feel to get in the way for you. I want it to drive you, to help you make decisions that could help me.”

“Help you?!”

Laurent spat out the words, his arms crossed.

“Help me and this kingdom. Help yourself and your future. The future of these people in these shelters.”

“I don’t care! I don’t care about you, or your kingdom, or the majority of the people in these goddamn shelters. I care…” 

His pause was a verbal swallow of what Damen presumed was oncoming tears, but he didn’t know, 

“I care about my mother. And my brother.”

Damen took a long while to nod at Laurent, then lowered his head once more. He hugged his sides more because the coldness was getting to his bones. 

“Let me know if you change your mind, Laurent. I’ve tried to help, but I’m wondering if it was any use.”

With those words, Damen turned on his heel and headed right back home. He thought he heard Laurent behind him huff out an irritated sigh. He was sure that he’d not imagined it.

 

Three days later, the storm hit. It’s the cruelest snow storm. The coldest one that the kingdom had been expecting since the beginning of winter. Damen is restless, sitting in his palace and thinking about his kingdom and his people, most of all. His mind strayed to thoughts of Laurent, at inopportune moments. 

At meetings with his palace to enhance small parts of the kingdom to be warmer. Times when he was alone in his own bedroom with plans and work to do. When his peers came to see him and talk about many other subjects. It was all too much for Damen, and he was entirely restless, thinking about everyone’s fate. He felt too lucky in some senses, having so much warmth and comfort and aid in this dark, busy time.

 

A raging knock entered his thoughts the day after the main storm, the front door of the castle practically bursting with noise. Outside, there was still a storm, chilly as ever, and whipping around his wind so strong that it had ripped a flag into pieces. Damen immediately told himself that the noises couldn’t be the storm, but his peers told him otherwise. They knew how distracted Damen had been lately. Some of them didn’t even trust him to do the work assigned to him, but he proved them wrong. It took a bit more time than usual, but he still got everything done.

As he wandered around the castle, his work mostly done, he heard multiple knocks over and over again. With high doubts and feelings, Damen rushed to the door to open it. It had been going on for too long. At this time, no one was really around to stop him. When he opened the door, Damen gasped a little, frozen for quite a long minute.

Outside stood a worn-down Laurent with tears prickling his eyes. His face had gone-red, shivers visible. After the initial shock of seeing him there, looking as bitter and petty as ever, Damen ordered him inside. To the closest person, he managed to ask them for warm drinks and blankets immediately. Both came rather quickly, to Damen’s surprise. His wet guest shivered without a word as a hot cocoa was placed in his hands and a several blankets were wrapped around his shoulders and body.

 

Now, in Damen’s chambers, Laurent looked less raw and red from the cold. Instead, he looked dead inside. Bitter, perhaps, as well. It was a normal look, as far as Damen was concerned. He was not, however, used to the silence that Laurent held. Not for this long, at least. It was new that this boy hadn’t said a word since he got in the door at least an hour ago by now.

Damen glanced over some of the work he had left to do, but he had no intention of setting himself into it right now. Right now, he focused on the shivers of Laurent’s body. He wanted him to talk so badly, so so badly. A plan quickly occurred to the prince. He stood up and approached Laurent, in his bundles of blankets.

He took the cup of empty cocoa away from him and set it on his desk. Next, he placed a hand on Laurent’s back in an attempt to help him stand. As odd as it was, Laurent complied. In this moment, he was malleable to some degree, yet he still held his look of furrowed eyebrows and a cold, far-off stare. His body still responded to Damen leading him out of the room, as a grumble from his throat was barely audible. Yet, there were still no words.

 

Damen led him away through a long corridor. No one encountered them, and Damen sighed in relief when he reached the room he’d wanted enter. The thought of encountering one of his peers and trying to explain his situation was a task he’d not wanted to deal with. Inside, Laurent realized after a moment where they were. It was empty and clear.

Smells around them were pungent and beautiful. The sight of lush bubbles and calm water, steam rolling off of tile walls, clear air to breathe in. All of it made both of them sigh in their own spaces. Damen had taken his hand off of Laurent’s back now, and looked at him to see a reaction. There was another audible groan from Laurent, but no move whatsoever to back away or shout, or any of the behavior Damen predicted. This made him wonder how long he’d been out there knocking on the doors for.

“Would you be opposed to bathing with me, Laurent?”

There was no response. However, Laurent had closed his eyes and stepped forwards. He’d begun to discard his clothes, a disheveled mess of blankets and clothing put away to one side. Underneath, his body looked red, yet pale. Damen stood, not knowing where to look. He didn’t want to stare or seem in the way, so he started to disrobe as well.

Ever since entering the room, Damen had been excited to bathe. The scents were so overwhelming and pleasing. The prince rarely bathed in these rooms, but Damen had done so when he was younger, and had enjoyed them the most when they were empty. Which was a pleasant surprise, because today it was empty, too. Damen took off his last garment of clothing and looked up as he relished in new scents of the room. 

Laurent had already placed himself in a bath and seemed to even be dozing off. One foot into the same bath, Damen felt the heat immediately rush up his legs. It was too pleasant to pass up. His body enveloped inside the heat, and a sigh much louder than he had expected escaped from him. He saw Laurent’s eyes open fast, just as he was halfway into the bath. A blush spread over him, and he quickly seated himself.

 

Not too long after, Laurent started to speak. His eyes were closed once again, skin much less red already. Damen listened intently. 

“My brother has yet to return.”

“It’s been weeks now, though!”

Damen’s immediate and sudden response shook the waters a little. Laurent remained quiet and as still as possible.

“It has.”

There was a silence between them now that felt natural and at ease. Damen felt the need to stretch his legs, but he knew he would touch Laurent’s figure if he did so. The warmth of the baths around them were so, so beautiful and felt luxurious. There was unease, though, from Laurent’s subject. 

“I heard news. It was news from far off, but it meant something. I’d heard that a man with the same descriptions of my brother had died in an accident. It hit me too much and I acted irrationally. I felt I couldn’t have done anything else.”

Damen nodded, his hands absentmindedly playing in the water nervously.

“I’m sure it was him though. There’s no doubt in my mind that it couldn’t be him. I’m not sure why I rushed here. I know fair well that you can’t do anything about this situation.”

“And you nearly got yourself killed getting here. While there was a storm going on, that’s... “

A swirl of water pushed towards Damen’s side of the bath. He made eye-contact with Laurent, who looked defensive. His eyes were less cold, but had a sort of stab to them now that they didn’t have before.

“I did other things before I came around to you, I assure you. I…” 

His eyes stared at the water, stilling and beginning to lose it’s warmth. 

“I contacted a relative I shouldn’t have. An uncle who… who was never good to me to begin with, but he promised he would take care of things. After I realized that had been the worse mistake, I came here.”

A settling silence appeared once more. The waters around them stilled. It felt clear, soothing, starting to get cool. There were no beautiful colours the water anymore. The two of them sat in silence, staring at each other. Damen examined Laurent’s features, seeing the breaking points in his facial expressions. He saw his body looked much healthier now, much warmer. Much more at ease. It was practically magic how much these bath waters healed.

“What can I do for you, Laurent? Why did you actually come to me?”

“Because you’re the prince. You have the most power out of everyone I’ve known.”

“That’s true, but I can’t bring back the dead.”

There’s another long silence. He heard Laurent gulp a few times, some sense of hesitation being entirely too present.

“But you can keep them warm..?”

Damen bit at his lips. Laurent was getting out of the bath now, his skin dripping with water nearly everywhere.

“Do you blame me for their deaths?”

Laurent swiveled around faster than Damen expected. Another pause and a clench of his jaw.

“To some part, yes.”

“And do you want to unyield your revenge?”

Laurent fiddled with his towel in the subtlest ways.

“What is this about?”

“Do you?”

“I do.”

“Then I’ll let you handle the situation. I’ll give you the power. The plans. You can control what you want to do next, I’ll give you permission. I’ll sit in a corner, if that satisfies your tastes. You’ll make the decisions.”

An expression waved over Laurent’s face, a small cock of his head, his lips opened to say something but then closed again. Without another word, he stepped out of the bathhouse. Damen didn’t follow him, at least not for now.

 

Laurent stayed in Damen’s chambers for a few days. Damen had let him sleep in the bed, while he decided to sleep on a makeshift bed of quilts and blankets on the floor. It did feel odd to him, and there was certainly some explaining to do to the ones who came into his rooms and found out about Laurent being there.

With some time, he introduced Laurent to his work. It was fairly easy, because apparently Laurent had been top of his academy when he had been fortunate enough to attend and keep going there. He’d learned from Laurent’s quick work that his rambling words were sparse, but when they came, they didn’t easily stop. Together they talked into the late hours of the night over plans of new ways to help the kingdom. It expanded quite quickly towards more of the land and not just his own kingdom.

 

As more word of Laurent in the castle spread out, it surprised Damen how much this boy was accepted. He wore some of Damen’s clothes, because his own were far-beyond torn, lost, or just… not acceptable to wear, from what Damen thought of. He still wore his blue cloak around, cleaning it thoroughly when he could. With this dress and the way he spoke, Damen nearly thought others would mistake Laurent for a prince. It wasn’t far from the truth, Damen realized as he kept Laurent in his sight over a week, now.

 

When it reached the point, one evening, where they were eating over making plans in Damen’s chambers, Damen had a good glance at Laurent. Laurent was casually eating, calculating something in his head while Damen was sat on his own bed, struggling to take off his boots from a long walk he'd just gotten back from. His gaze on Laurent was long, seeing his sitting up straight and in such different garments, not the scared boy he’d first encountered made a switch flip inside his head.

“Sooner or later, you’ll end up ruling a kingdom, if you keep going like this.”

“I was meant to.. Well, yes, I suppose I was..”

Damen approached him with careful steps, his boots finally off. His form tall towering hovered over Laurent, but he didn’t flinch until Damen stepped back a couple steps from the desk again.

“My uncle was… is in a power of ruling. I suppose I am the only heir, if we were to pass.”

“Is that the same uncle that you contacted and said was no good?”

“Yes, I’m surprised you remember that.”

Damen huffed out a smile. His eyes lingered on Laurent for a good moment, but Laurent was too invested in his mindless eating and blueprints.

“I remember more than I let on.”

 

That night, Laurent had been getting ready for bed rather quickly. He shuffled into Damen’s bed and whispered something practically inaudible out loud. Damen had to lean forwards quite a bit to get Laurent to repeat what he’d said.

“I’ll let you sleep in your own bed tonight. I’m feeling generous tonight.”

It took quite a bit of silence for Damen to move again. His state of shock was visible, but not noticeable to Laurent, since he’d already fallen half-asleep. Without trying to spoil the moment, Damen shuffled closer to the emptier side of the bed. Inside, it was surprisingly warm. Damen hadn’t slept in his actual bed for quite a while, and it felt like such a luxury now. He realized for a moment that that’s what Laurent must have felt the first night here.

These past several days, Damen hadn’t minded not sleeping in his own bed, just as long as he had had Laurent as company and creating such plans that he thought he would’ve never even thought of, he really didn’t mind. Laurent had changed everything since they had met. From the way Damen cared and sought out to help people, to the fact that he slept differently. 

 

In the bed, he genuinely rejoiced at the feeling of warmth and comfort of the sheets. He fell asleep, the last thing he’d seen being the crinkles of Laurent’s shirt over his shoulders. Somehow, it made it that much more comforting. Sleep overtook him for hours, nothing stirring in the night, just the sound of Laurent’s breaths being closer than usual.

 

However, it didn’t take long for Laurent’s breaths to curve Damen out of his dreams. In the time Laurent had been sleeping here, Damen noticed that Laurent had fits of shuffling and moments where he seemed like he could barely breathe. Moments in the past, when Damen had been on the floor in his makeshift bed, he’d been too hesitant to go help him.

Here, now, it felt different. He was so much closer to Laurent’s body. Just the contact of their ankles as Damen accidentally shuffled closer than he had anticipated made him shiver a bit. Laurent’s whole body jumped at the contact. He let Damen move closer, however, without a word or whimper.

Damen’s big hands very carefully wrapped around Laurent’s chest. They held him with enough force to feel his breathing rise and fall. His heartbeat was faintly able to resonate in Damen’s ear as he pressed his face in the crook of his shoulder and neck. There were lots of hitches in Laurent’s breathing. 

“I can tell you have nightmares. I’ve had too many of them as a child. You can breathe here, you’re safe.”

“I’ve never been safe.”

There was a twinge in his voice that was all-too audible. Damen’s hands started to rub circles in Laurent’s chest, and his breath hitched a lot more, so Damen stopped.

“You-” Laurent paused for a bit, but before Damen could ask him anything, he continued in his groggy voice, “I liked that.”

“Did you?”

“Not like that, you dimwit!”

“I didn’t mean it like that, Laurent.”

He paused short anything Laurent could reply by rubbing his fingers around the top of Laurent’s chest. His breath static-ed again, heartbeat amping up. Damen didn’t notice the latter, but felt how tense and far away he was leaning from Damen.

“Lean back, Laurent. Breathe.”

Laurent did as he was told, to a certain extent. He did lean back, which helped his breaths. They still weren’t even after a good while. 

“You don’t have to be afraid to make sounds.”

With that, Damen leaned forwards. Lips made contact with Laurent’s tender skin at the side of his neck. Here, a startled moan left Laurent. His whole body went stiff, trembling here and there. 

“Sorry about that.”

Damen had pulled away for the most part, hands still on Laurent. His fingers went soft, slowing his movements, but still making circles. That seemed to calm Laurent.

“I think most people would kill to be in my position.”

Damen didn’t pause, but leaned forward only an inch. His breath managed to find his way to the back of Laurent’s neck in response to his comment, but he didn’t tense up as he did last time.

“And how do you feel being in this position?”

“I feel like I shouldn’t answer that. Not as lucky as most would feel, that’s the least I’ll say.”

“That’s alright. I’m not asking you to feel anything. I just want you to feel welcomed and relaxed.”

“That’s something.”

Damen’s breath against Laurent let him know that he was smiling. There was the faintest kiss to his neck. Laurent stilled into Damen’s touch, his breath varying but calming enough to fall asleep. With his touch so close to soft skin, Damen tried to calm his own heartbeat enough to sleep, too, but truthfully he was awake for far longer than he had anticipated. 

 

When he awoke, Damen saw that Laurent’s side of the bed was dipped with wrinkles, instead of his soft, warm body. He’d also noticed that the cloak that he usually swung over the shoulders of the chair near his favourite work table had disappeared. His weary eyes and jittery morning body went on a search for warm enough clothes in the closet and wandered around to the balcony first. He’d thought that wherever his sleeping companion had gone, he would be able to spot from the balcony, hoping that he hadn’t gone far or disappeared ages ago.

Instead, he found Laurent shivering, perhaps subconsciously, on the balcony. He cozied himself in the borrowed cape, eyeing over the shelters that he could see. Damen noticed the cape of snow on the ground had grown thicker, the wisps of cold air moved so smoothly in the morning, which surprised him. Footsteps advancing carefully towards Laurent, he found his way standing hip-to-hip.

“I wish you’d stayed in bed.”

His over-sleep-filled brain spoke before Damen could think of all the possible responses Laurent might bring up. Laurent’s blue eyes wavered up to him as a breeze wisped over them both.

“I wish I had as well.”


End file.
